I'm not a patient person. I am a patient, but that doesn't mean I'm patient.
Waiting for the follow up surveillance exam (in two weeks) is what creates anxiety. Not just for me, but for other patient's in the same boat. It's like floating along with one paddle instead of two. Hard to navigate, hard to steer your mind in the right direction. It's the unknowing. I want to be all-knowing.
As my Auntie Terry will attest to, waiting for 5 to 7 days to get the pathology report is nerve wracking and unsettling. That's why I write. To put my thoughts on paper. It helps to talk about it out loud. On a keyboard. That allows you to go back and make corrections. If only I could go back and erase the cancer. If only we mere mortals had the power. The Delete Key doesn't work for that. Pretty worthless key in that regard.
I'm part of the KCCure (Kidney Cancer Cure) on-line support group. The group is on a Facebook board. Access is only for confirmed patients with kidney cancer (about 80% of its over 2,700 members worldwide). The other 20% are healthcare providers / professionals who are interested in kidney cancer. The group is very supportive. We all share our status and stories, look for common practices for our particular stage and grade of tumor, and receive a lot of positive feedback and thoughts. We need that. We get that.
For kidney cancer patients (renal cell carcinoma - clear cell in particular), even though you have the entire kidney that cancer invaded removed, the cancer can show up somewhere else in the body later. It's still renal cell carcinoma - clear cell even though it shows up somewhere else in your body. The cancer cells traveled elsewhere. The border isn't closed at the kidney. It's wide open. That's where the worry comes from. Will it show up somewhere else?
Illustration by Angeles Balaguer_pixabay.com
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